- monthly subscription or
- one time payment
- cancelable any time
"Tell the chef, the beer is on me."
The intro cards for Futurama have always been one of my favorite parts of the show because people always talk about the old Simpson’s couch gag but this is just pure gold… I mean-
It goes from everything from
and then they made fun of how much everyone reacted to the the infamous ‘dead dog episode’ that I cried about…
And then one time when the show got canceled…
and then when it came back..
you’re missing my favorite one though
I recently found my “gold” hammer after misplacing it. It’s my favorite tool ever because it looks like a regular hammer trying to be fancy,
but then you twist both halves and unscrew it to find a flat-head screwdriver in the middle.
BUT, if you twist the very end and unscrew that
you find a phillips screwdriver.
BUT DON’T THINK THAT’S ALL THERE IS! THERE’S MORE!! unscrew the very end again to find a smaller flat-head screwdriver!
BUT THAT’S STILL NOT THE END!!
unscrew the end of this screwdriver to find a final, teeny tiny, flat-head screwdriver
look at how cute it is!
it’s like a matryoshka doll of tools.
1. Humans say ‘ow’, even if they haven’t actually been hurt. It’s just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but aren’t sure yet.
2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring
3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. They can’t even hold their breath all that long; they just love to splash!
4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft, fluffy bedding.
5. Some humans spend time in each other’s nests! Just for fun! It’s not their nest; they’re just visiting each other.
6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes!
7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They don’t seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young!
8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures!
9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying themselves!
10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely adorable. Especially when the human in question becomes frustrated
11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many humans will save these treats specifically for a later date when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE, pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc
12. They’re learning to travel in space!!! They can’t get very far, but they’re trying!!! So far, they’ve made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks
This is pretty great
You heard us, the semicolon, this small tattoo gained popularity in recent years, but unlike other random or mysterious trends that pop up, this one has a serious meaning behind it
The Semicolon project was created from a social media movement in 2013, they are described as a ” movement dedicated to presenting hope and love to those who are struggling with depression, suicide, addiction, and self-injury. Project Semicolon exists to encourage love and inspire”
OK, that cool. But why a semicolon?
” A semicolon is used when an author could’ve chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life. ”
Originally this was only one day where people were encouraged to draw a semicolon on their bodies and photograph it, but it grew from there and became much bigger and permanent. Today, people from all over the world are tattooing this mark as a reminder of their struggle, victory, and survival.
The Semicolon Tattoo Project which is an organization that was inspired by the semicolon movement is trying to reduce the stigma around mental illness. In 2012 over 43 million Americans dealt with a mental illness. It’s really not that uncommon yet because of the stigma around it many people don’t talk about it and that’s the barrier to getting help.
” The tattoo is a conversation starter ” Jenn from the project explains, ” People ask what it is and we get to tell them the purpose. I think if you see someone’s tattoo that you’re interested in, that’s fair game to start a conversation with someone you don’t know, it provides a great opportunity to talk. Tattoos are interesting, marks we put on our bodies that are important to us ”
Last year The Semicolon Tattoo Project held an event with several tattoo shops where people could get the semicolon tattoo for a flat fee. That money was a fundraiser for the crisis center and over 400 people did the semicolon tattoo in one day.
So next time you see this small punctuation tattoo, remember this story, and have a clue
i kinda wanna rebel against society but i also kinda wanna take a nap
everything gets so much better after you realize that idleness is strongly discouraged by capitalism, so you can now do both at the same time
this was the most affirming thing i’ve read in my life
SNOOZE AGAINST THE MACHINE
The spread of the black death.
Poland is the old new Madagascar.
If I remember correctly, Poland’s secret is that the jews where being blamed all over europe (as usual) as scapegoats for the black plague. Poland was the only place that accepted Jewish refugees, so pretty much all of them moved there.
Now, one of the major causes of getting the plague was poor hygiene. This proved very effective for the plague because everyone threw their poop into the streets because there were no sewers, and literally no one bathed because it was against their religion. Unless they were jewish, who actually bathed relatively often. When all the jews moved to Poland, they brought bathing with them, and so the plague had little effect there.
Milan survived by quarantining its city and burning down the house of anyone showing early symptoms, with the entire family inside it.
Poland: “Hey, feeling a bit down? Have a quick wash! There, you see? All better”Milan: “Aw, feeling a bit sick are we? BURN MOTHERFUCKER, BURN!!!!!
WHY ARENT THERE ADULT-SIZED PLAYGROUNDS
LIKE EVERYTHING IS THE SAME AS A KIDS PLAYGROUND
WHY DO WE NOT HAVE THOSE
theme parks. just. theme parks.
but u have to pay for theme parks
that’s the adult part
son of a bitch
ladies and gentlemen, behold
the St. Louis City Museum:
Playground for adults and children.
They even serve alcohol.
I know where we’re going guys
SO I RUN FRANTICALLY INTO KROGER TO GET KETCHUP BEFORE MY MCNUGGETS GET COLD
AND AS I STAND AT THE SELF CHECK OUT WITH ONLY A JUMBO BOTTLE OF HEINZ TOMATO KETCHUP EVERYONE STARTS FUCKING LAUGHING AT ME LIKE WHAT THE HELL
THEN I REMEMBER IM WEARING THIS SHIRT
I AM SO FUCKING PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW
In heinzsight you should have checked what you were wearing.
death with benefits
Sleeping is nice because youre not actually dead and youre not awake so its a win-win situation
It’s like being dead without the commitment.
an open relationship with death
"Tell the chef, the beer is on me."
"Basically the price of a night on the town!"
"I'd love to help kickstart continued development! And 0 EUR/month really does make fiscal sense too... maybe I'll even get a shirt?" (there will be limited edition shirts for two and other goodies for each supporter as soon as we sold the 200)